Best Country For Men: Poland vs Germany

We have already encountered some of the best cities for men (Part 1, Part 2) and will now proceed to put things into perspective by comparing not cities, but countries.

Poland vs Germany

The line shows the former Iron Curtain. Text reads: “This is how Germany and Europe have been divided until December 10, 1989 at 10:15 am.”

First up are the two neighboring countries of Poland and Germany. While geographically close to each other the border between Germany and Poland to this day is a border between worlds. In the West you have Germany, one of the richest and most developed countries in the world and in the East you have Poland which, even though today considered Central Europe, still acts as the entrance door to what is known to the world as Eastern Europe.

One thing you must know is that most parts of Eastern Germany have to be economically considered part of Poland. in Eastern Germany you will come across not only the poorest and least developed parts of Germany but of the whole European Union.

Some regions in Eastern Germany receive funds from the same development fund of the European Union that normally subsidizes areas in rural Ireland – or in Kosovo.

Rotten next to refurbished: Leipzig, Eastern Germany – image via www.ufz.de

Interestingly, even though Eastern Germany has so much in common with its neighbour in the East, the social make-up in Eastern Germany is completely dfferent from that of Poland.

While the Poles generally are happy chappers who embrace clearly separated sex roles and a positive outlook on life — as well as a good portion of unreliabilty in the fields of public administration and business – people from Eastern Germany are the exact opposite. Here, there will be no shenanigans when doing business. Everything will work like a well-oiled German engine with little to no surprises.

What is of interest for the traveling man is that while (Eastern) Germany is so much more reliable than its Eastern neighbour it als features some of the most degenerate sex roles Europe has to offer. While there are the usual exceptions to prove the rule on average Eastern German men are among the weakest and most female-obedient men in the whole continent. Mutatis mutandis the average Eastern German woman features the testosterone-ridden German Fraulein-jawline and is among the most sloppily dressed and most masculine women in the whole of Central Europe.

The Poles, however, have experienced an economic development that comes close to that of the the tiger states in South East Asia and thus have to struggle with the side-effects of Westernization, e.g. the usual reversal of sex roles. Nonetheless, they managed to preserve themselves a good deal of what others may call “traditionalism”, meaning that many polish women have to be regarded as feminine, if not flat-out gorgeous, while the men are still men.

Can you play off a (relatively) better dating life against a hassle-free working environment and one of the highest contractual certainties in the world? This episode in the quest of finding the best country for men compares Poland and Germany in the three fields of:

1. Cost of Living
2. Livability
3. Dating Life

and then tries to find an answer to that question. Let’s get right into it.

1. Cost of Living

Poland

Here is the thing: While it is true that the cost of living in Poland is still much lower than that in Germany there is this one aspect that almost throws Poland’s comparative advantage out the window. Namely, the fact that regardless of the overall lighter price level apartment rentals in Poland are more or less on the same level, if not more expensive than renting an apartment in Germany.

Berlin Still Cheaper Than Warsaw For Accommodation

This is because Poland, just like Ukraine or any other country with a history in Socialism, has a rate of homeowners that is in the high 80%-range. The same rate in Germany comes down to a measly 43%, meaning that Germany actually has a real market for apartment rentals while in the whole of Eastern Europe renting a place to live is considered something that tourists or low-lives in assisted living projects do.

Therefore, if your monthly budget for lodging is at, say, 600€ you might just be getting more value for your money renting an apartment in Berlin than in Warsaw.

Warsaw Cheaper  For Anything Else

Neither London, nor Moscow. This is up and coming Warsaw, Poland.

If you leave out rental and accomodation the usual rule of thumb applies: Poland as well as all other Central European countries is at about 2/3 of the price level of Western Europe. At time even less. Every day items that are remarkably cheaper are puplic transport at about half the cost of Western Europe and any labour-intensive goods like getting a haircut, getting your car fixed or any task in the field of carpentry. What in the West will cost you a fortune in Poland (still) can be had for little money.

One of the larger shopping malls in Central Europe: Galeria Dominikanska in Wroclaw Poland. Ironically, the 5-storey mall was planned, built and still is managed by a Germany-bsed company. The picture shows the picturesqze miniture-effect applied to an aerial shot of Galeria Dominikanska.,

Unlike countries like Germany or Denmark Poland still has a huge discrepancy in prices between urban and non-urban areas.

A tea in the top-floor cafe inside Wroclaw’s appealing and German-built (!) Galeria Dominikanska will cost you 8 Zloty which at 2€ is less than half of the 5,20€ charged in one of Copenhagen’s fancy downtown cafes, but at the same time only slightly behind the price level of Frankfurt or Berlin.

Buying clothing is one of the fields where Polands seems to be completely on par with the West. Walk inside one of the franchises of the Van Graaf chain that is something like the Zara for men and a bit more exclusive than the commoner’s choice of H&M and a simple polo shirt will cost you just as much as it would in Germany or anywheree else in Europe except for maybe in insanely expensive Oslo.

Germany

Even though on a higher price level than Poland, Germany has the lowest prices on food and groceries in any of the developed nations. Don’t believe me? Picture this: as if it was a state-reglemented price all German supermarkets sell their 1,5L water of carbonated mineral water for no less than a spectacular 19 Cent. The same price goes for a simple chocolate pudding which somehow has caused uproar in Israel where people started to protest against the ever-increasing cost of living in their country once they learned how little you have to pay for groceries in Germany.

Even still, the low price level of Poland manages to undercut that of Germany. Germany might have one of the lowest price levels in basically every aspect of living with perhaps one of the best value for money-ratios in the whole of the Europe Union. You will hardly come across another European country where costs in fields so diverse as groceries, rental prices, clothing, medical fees (if you were to pay for them outside of insurance) and even lawyer fees come on  such a fair and “well-behaved” scale as they do in Germany. Nonetheless, the price level of Germany stands no chance against that of up and coming Poland. Therefore, in conclusion:

Victory: Poland | Score 1:0

2. Livability

Poland

Doesn’t a low cost of living mean a high quality of living? After all, you will be able to get anything you ever need without ever fearing to break the bank. This would enable you to ease out and concentrate on the more important things in life.

If it only was that simple. As I said earlier, a good deal of shenanigans is part of everyday life in Poland. However, as with basically every other country you live in being the “wealthy foreigner” the amount of madness you will experience in Poland will automatically restrict itself to the usual suspects of overcharging taxi drivers,bad service in restaurants or the occasinal bartender trying to sack in your change. Hardly ever will you have to experience full-on what it’s like to live in a country that to some degree can still be considered a Banana Republic.

Swapping textile industry and brown coal mining for high-tech within two decades: Helicopter view of Wroclaw’s business skyscraper called SkyTower – image via fotopolska.eu

This being said, since Poland joined the European Union in 2004 the country has seen a make-over in terms of fighting corruption and improving livability that basically is without equal in the whole of the European Union, with Estonia being perhaps the one exception to the rule. Poland’s rise to Western standards of living in fact is so prominent in Eastern Europe that every taxi driver in Kiev will tell you how much Ukrainians look up to the Poles and wouldn’t mind copying their success story.

Even today you can still experience some of Poland’s wild past when you perform the trivial act of buying a soda, a candy bar or a newspaper at the local corner store. As you might be used to it from living in Germany, France or the Netherlands you will hardly ever get a receipt for your purchase in one of the small shops. If you bought more than one article the then there is the chance that the clerk might just ask you if you needed a receipt.

In Poland, however, things are different. Even if you buy a 3 Zloty-pack of gums you can be sure that the clerk will hand you your receipt as if it was a mandatory act demanded by law. The reason  he does so is because it is a mandatory act demanded by law: in order to increase tax revenue the Polish government has been pressing hard on businesses to keep everything inside the books and not off the books as this has been one of the nation’s favorite past-time.

One major downside of Poland is that outside of the brimming cities such as Wroclaw, Krakow, Gdynia and Gdansk in the North as well as the capital of Warsaw Poland’s smaller cities and the countryside have a very dull vibe to them. Leave the big cities and go to the countryside in Germany and you can go to Heidelberg, Jena and Weimar experiencing the heritage of people such as Goethe and Schiller.

Not worse than small-town Eastern Germany but still not too appealing: an ill-maintained sidestreet in downtown Krakow, Poland.

To the contrary, small-town Poland is still getting subsidized by the EU. While you can be sure that each and every small town Rynek (marketplace) will shine from all the refurbishing the rest of small-town Poland may just look nothing like the larger cities do.

Germany

Welcome to the real deal. Nowhere else in the world is everyday life as well-orchestrated as in Germany. The amount of rip-offs, scams, violence, uncertainty and indifference finds its all-time low in Germany while at the same time reliability, consumer rights and privacy rights are at the highest international level.

Choose one of Germany’s most favorable 1+ million cities such as Hamburg or Berlin and you will experience the best of both worlds, namely the highes degree of livabilty together with an absolute low on stingyness, narrowmindedness and  German anal-ness that you can encounter so frequently in Eastern Germany. Speaking of the great city in Germany’s far North, Hamburg has a lot to offer to the single man. Spending a night on famous nightlife area Reeperbahn will have you speechless with the abundance of nightclubs, bars and concerts and you may just end up having a drink at the very place where the Beatles started their career.

Big night out on Hamburg’s Reeperbahn, the city’s world renowned nightlife district. Picture: Flickr

And as Germany and Poland share a very similar geographical makeup where a nountainious South meets beaches in the North, you do not really miss out on any of the options that Poland has to offer.

Needless to say that since Germany still is the third strongest economy on the planet its business and employment opportunities and especially its salaries blow those in Poland right out the water. Poland may have the upper hand in terms of the cost of living, but if you are fine with spending just a bit more then living in Hamburg or Berlin offer you more options in terms of work, business, education, events, cuisine, culture and nightlife than Polish cities ever could.

Victory: Germany | Score 1:1

The Women

Poland

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and start off with a simple fact: Poland’s women are among the most feminine, most attractive and most easy-going females in the whole of Europe. This may sound like I am trying to sell you something, but the more you interact with Polish women, so I guarantee you, the more you will find this to be the truth.

Almost out of competition: Average Polish female attractiveness.

Now, as with most social phenomenons, female attractiveness, too, comes in a normal distribution. Put into graphics things will look like this. Thus in Poland, just as anywhere else in the world, the majority of women will be what you could describe as “average-looking”. Mind you that because it is Poland, that very average is on a much higher level than it is Germany. In conclusion, the average Polish girl is more attractive, more feminine and more easy-going than the average German girl.

This being said, if you consider that every normal distribution’s bell curve has a broad middle section then there shouldn’t be much difference between the two countries, right? Let’s have a look at real life in order to compare.

Taken in an undisclosed location in Poland the picture above shows what the average Polish girl looks like. Turning to Germany things look like as follow below.

Not much of a difference here, I would say. However, things get interesting once you turn to the lower ends of the bell curve, namely to the very attractive fraction of the women. On the lower right end of the bell curve Poland not only tops Germany, but runs it over with a steam roller only to make a turn and run all over it again.

Just like the British the Poles, too, have the cliché of the ‘ugly German’. Only that for them the ugly German is the ugle <female> German.

In Germany the picture above pretty much is representative even for the upper end of the bell curve. Just detract weight and add more makeup to any of the girls above and all of them will automatically transform into an assembly-line copy of German vocal-fry queen Heidi Klum.

In Poland there is an uncrossable line between the mean and the actual women. While Poland might have suffered from full-throttle Westernization leading to lots of females embracing tattoos and piercings things are by no means comparable to Germany. I personally suggest a short trip to Wroclaw to see in real life what I am refering to here. A woman equal to the lower right end of the Polish bell curve regularly will look like this:

Victory: Poland (by landslide) | Score: 2:1

Conclusion

With everything being said, we can proceed to the final score.

Winner: Poland! | Final Score 2:1

The formal score of 2:1 in favor of Poland seems to leave little room to discussion. You have to keep in mind, though, that each of the three factors of cost of living, livability and women has to be weighed in regard to individual preferences.

If you are not wiling to compromise on living in a thriving city that has a lot of international stuff going on then an abundance of feminine women might not seem as appealing to you. The same goes for the case that you are used to making a high(er) salaray.

To the contrary, if you don’t mind making a little less in exchange for being surrounded by a plethora of dating options then Germany’s higher livability will just fall flat. Whatever the it may be, our first Country vs Country guide comes out with Poland as the best country for men.