3 MINI-VACATIONS FOR WHEN YOU CANNOT TRAVEL
Do you know what a Tindercation is? A Tindercation is your ultimate way-out if your chances to get out and travel come down to zero.
Remember Michael Mann’s Collateral? One of the most underrated movies of the year 2008 featured Vincent (Tom Cruise), a narcissist lone-wolf character that goes on a killing spree in nightly Los Angeles, executing all murders out of a on-duty taxi cab. His mission: to get rid of witnesses that are to testify in court the very next day.
All killings and dark humor aside (“I didn’t kill him – the bullets and the fall killed him” – Vincent) Collateral comes with one remarkable scene right at the beginning that should catch your attention. It is when taxi driver Max, played by Jamie Foxx, prepares his taxi for the upcoming shift. In the loud hustle of the carshop-like taxi headquarters Max checks his logbook, cleans the car’s dashboard and driving wheel and then closes the car’s door. A quick move that is then followed — by ultimate silence.
In that moment of silence Max takes out a postcard showing an exotic island. He attaches it to the driver seat’s sun visor. Together with the silence the used-up postcard is Max’s locus amoenus in midst the loud and bustling city life of Los Angeles. Whenever Max has to deal with drawbacks like annoying passengers he pulls down the sun visor, looks at his postcard and remembers that there is another, better world besides the misery he is trapped in.
In 'Collateral' Max uses his 'Island Limousine Service' as an excuse to never get proactive in life. We are using our digital vacations to bridge the time until we can go traveling again | Photo: United Artists PIctures
What if there was a way to implement Max’s 3-Minute getaway into our own daily life? The good news is that there is, in fact, such a way. No matter how soul-sucking the job you are doing, and no matter how far away your next chance of seeing greener pastures might be – there is always that post card you can stick to your sun visor. And whenever the need arises, you ‘close the door’, pull down the sun visor and find yourself in another, better world.
What would such a getaway look like? Since only a minority of us will work as taxi drivers, our urban getaway will be of the digital type. These days, the internet, GPS and a ton of other gimmicks have made it easy to teleport yourself to more favorable surroundings. All without having to move for just a millimeter from the spot.
In this article we are introducing three ways to take a digital vacation that will have you see some light at the end of the tunnel. In that sense, if you are stuck in an office that has no air condition, but an army of nosy supervisors and unattractive co-workers instead, then this is the article you have been searching for. Read on, office-dweller, as relief is in sight.
1 | Take a Tindercation
Googling for ‘Tindercation’ will lead you nowhere as I just invented the term. A Tindercation simply means setting your Tinder’s GPS to a place of your choice, located anywhere in the world.
Ever wondered what girls in Gibraltar, Bratislava or Montenegro look like? Or in post-revolutionary Lybia, Tunisia or Algeria? A Tindercation puts an end to that quest. With a user base of more than 50 million women from literally all over the world make use of the market leader in dating apps. And as Tinder draws data like job title, employer and fotos from the users’ facebook accounts it actually gives an authentic insight into the look and feel of local women
To take a Tindercation all you have to do comes in three easy-to-follow steps:
As swiping right is now limited and will cost money after 20 swipes or so, makling deliberate choices is key. That, or simply setting up a whole dozen of Tinder accounts. | Photo: Trengblog.net
Step 1: Download the (free) Tinder app for your smartphone
Once Tinder is active on your phone you need to set up a profile. Then turn off the app. With your Tinder app shut down it is time for step 2 and 3:
Step 2: Turn off your phone’s GPS.
Step 3: Download the free “Fake GPS” app.
The easy-to-use Fake GPS app will let you set your phone’s GPS to anywhere in the world, from Alabama to Antarctica. Pick the location of your choice and then turn your GPS back on. The Fake GPS app will trick your GPS into believing that your fake location is your current one.
You can now restart your Tinder app. As it takes its GPS data directly from your phone Tinder has now adopted your fake location and will present you girls from your new perimeter exclusively. Bingo! With this tinder-tweak you can now compare the 50-75% turn down-rate you will see with modest-looking Western women (Berlin, Los Angeles), is replaced by a 0-25% turn down-rate from over-averagely attractive foreign women who seem to be mysteriously in love with you (Rio de Janeiro, Warsaw).
2 | Enjoy an AirBnB Bonanza
Ever waken up to the sound of vacuum cleaners slamming against your door sill at 6 in the morning? This is your typical every-day scenario if you are still staying in hotels instead of privately owned apartments. In regard to hotel alternatives, AirBnB.com has established itself as the internet’s prime location for booking turn-key ready apartments all over the globe. And that at (mostly) fair prices that can be tweaked like you haven’t seen.
No more checking into hotels that don’t deserve the stars they are wearing (Central & Eastern Europe) or where a 5-night-stay will equal a full month’s rent back home (London, Barcelona). Booking an apartment through AirBnB will let you save money while letting you stay in the middle of the action. No loss in comfort, either, as 99% of the apartments come with any amenity you could ever ask for.
Located in the absolute heart of Warsaw and costs only 40€/night: one of the many apartments available on AirBnB. The price for a comparable hotel room? A staggering 81€/night | Photo: AirBnB
Go to AirBnB’s website and pick a destination that is far enough form where you are now, but that can still be reached halfway conveniently. Then do some research on the city’s nightlife and take a Tindercation to see what the girls look like.
If the city is a good fit, then go on a virtual apartment hunt. If you avoid weekends when choosing your dates, you will be surprised how many bargains are possible. Pick your dream apartment located in walking distance to all nightlife hotspot and add to that the phone numbers you have gathered from your Tindercation. Then count the days until enough money / available days off have rolled in, book that apartment make the virtual trip a real one.
3 | Go on a Craigslist Craze
You don’t know what Craigslist is? Then allow me to briefly brief you about the world’s largest website for classified ads.
Craigslist has been around since 1995. In 2008 craigslist expanded into the non-English speaking market and started including non-Anglo countries into their website.
Today, the whole world is covered by craigslist, and the site has established itself as the number one resource for expats, travelers and anyone looking to buy or sell using English as their way of communication. Using Craigslist is entirely free of charge.
The 'casual encounters' section for Paris, France: definiterly worth a try. It is key to start an ad yourself and never to reply to ads already online. | Photo: Craigslist
Now, it also happens that Craigslist features a section related to romance and dating. This section probably has the worst reputation of any classifieds website on the internet as it is teeming with all kinds of “unusual” sexual offers – whatever meaning the term unusual might have to you. If you now thought that sections on Craigslist such as “casual encounters” are read by weirdos and freaks exclusively then you are badly mistaken. A good portion of those skimming through the more raunchy ads on craigslist are in fact – women. And not even unattractive women at that.
It should be obvious by now that you can take full advantage of this untapped goldmine. The way you do it can be a combination of your Tindercation and your AirBnB Bonanza. It’s simple:
- Pick a European city that is big enough to have an active readership with Craigslist
- Post your >sleaziest desire< into the “casual encounters” section of that city on Craigslist.
Then wait. After you have weeded out the spam and non-sense replies there is the odd chance you will hit the bull’s eye. Out of the thousands of people reading your ad there will be that one girl interested in exactly what you crave. Combine that with all the alternative date-candidates you met through your Tindercation as well as the travel plan you created through the AirBnB Bonanza, and you have a light shining at the end of the tunnel of your current hardship. A light the size of a floodlight.
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